San Diego, 2006

The year before, a fun security guard kept popping over to our booth and cracking jokes and telling stories and hanging out, and we became very fond of him. I saw him again this year, chased him down and said hello. I hoped he might have some advice or pointers, since it was very possible Elizabeth could go into labor while we were at the con. He said he’d get info for us, and when he came back, he introduced me to the emergency medical team, which happened to be parked very nearby. They said to bring Elizabeth straight back, and they would either get an ambulance to her, or maybe even just deliver the baby right there, in their curtained-off little area. They made me feel like any problems wouldn’t be a problem to them. One of them even said she’d delivered plenty of babies. That all made me feel much better.

So this year, our security guard friend popped by regularly, and continued hanging out with us and telling fun stories and cracking jokes. And somehow or other, as we got talking, I brought up to him that there are a few key people who I’d love to meet and try and get pin-ups from, or just meet, but they just seem so unapproachable (in that they’re so popular, they’re always swamped with hours and hours of lines), and since I needed to be at the table selling and pitching, or meeting with editors or artists, I just didn’t think I’d ever get the opportunity to wait for them and then hopefully maybe get to them.

He said, “Like who do you have in mind?” I told him, for example, Stan Lee, Frank Miller, and Quentin Tarantino, and also I heard Moebius was at the con.

He said, “Well tell you what, if I’m put on duty with any of them, I’ll pop over here to your booth, and bring you to meet them!” WOW!

I said, “Well for example, it says Moebius is doing a signing at the Activision booth, but it doesn’t say when.” So he sends one of his fellow guards over to the Activision booth to find out some information for us. UNBELIEVABLE! While we’re visiting, he suddenly says, “Hold on just a second,” are starts listening and talking into his headset for a moment. “Yeah? Yeah. Okay. All right. Thanks.” Then he says to me, “Moebius is signing at the Activision booth right now. Let’s go.” INCREDIBLE! So we march all the way to the opposite end of the convention together, and when we get there, STAN LEE IS SIGNING AT THE SAME TIME! FRIGGIN’ AMAZING!

The place is a madhouse. There are mobs and mobs of people swarming the area, and there’s just a feeling of tension.

I follow my security guy, and he goes around and says a quick hello to the security guard manning a station, and then walks through a roped-off area. I try to follow him, but this new security guard stops me. My pal turns back and says, “No, it’s okay. He’s with me.” And next thing I know, I’m coming through, into the inner circle, just outside where Stan Lee is signing. My buddy is talking with various people, who are pointing back and forth, and finally he comes back to me and says, “Stan is really busy, and as soon as he’s done signing, he’s got to get somewhere. Did you want him to sign a book? Because we can leave it with his rep, and get it signed, if you want.”

I told him, I didn’t have a book to sign (I did, but I had left it at my booth). I said what I wanted was to give the esteemed Stan Lee a copy of my giant monster book. My friend stepped me over a few steps (because we were in an extremely tight, cramped area) and said, you need to talk to this man. He’s Stan Lee’s representative.

I introduced myself and told him I’d been doing Kirby-style giant monster stories inked by Dick. The representative said, “Oh, I haven’t seen Dick in a long time. How’s he doing?” I gave him a very quick update, and told him I’d also had a chance to spend time with Larry Lieber when he came out to see me at a convention in New York a couple years ago. I told him I’m too young to have met Jack Kirby, but I would love for Stan to see what I’ve been working on. I was assured Stan would receive this book. As I left, I asked if there might be any chance, if he enjoyed it, that he could write a quick blurb that I could publish with my next book. The rep said that would be a possibility, and he gave me his card, and told me to ask for Stan, and that would put me through to him (the rep). Wow, wouldn’t that be something to get a blurb from Stan Lee?!

So I told my security guard friend that I was all set with Stan Lee, and he asked if I’d like to meet Moebius now. Would I!!??!

I waited behind the ropes a little longer, while my security friend was asking around, trying to find a way to get me to Moebius. While I was waiting, still roped off and cramped in the Stan Lee area, Moebius got up from his signing which was only maybe ten feet away, and headed my way, stepping over Stan Lee’s ropes. One of the security guards there stopped him and said, “I’m sorry, you can’t come through here.” Moebius was saying, “I just want to say hi to my friend, Stan,” but the security guard didn’t realize who he was stopping. When he saw an old man trying to muscle through and not obeying him, he got more assertive and gruff, and said, “You can’t come through here, sir. Please step back over the ropes!” And this guard was raising his voice and hand, and puffing out his chest like he would take Moebius down if he had to. I’m thinking, Holy shit this is ugly, and looks to get worse!

So Moebius is pissed, I mean PISSED, and he steps back over the ropes, and I’m sure he’s thinking, Dipshit! He’s thinking, Fuck you cock-sucking pricks. He’s waving his hand in disgust and stomping back over to his own table. As this is all going down, I’m telling Stan Lee’s representatives, “Oh my God! Moebius just tried to come over here to say hi to Stan, and that security guard wouldn’t let him through!” When I said this, Stan’s rep practically jumped and jerked his head around, and bolted away to try and get Moebius through.

But the damage had already been done, and Moebius was pissed. I could see Stan’s rep trying to smoothe things over, but Moebius sat back down at his own table, and he’s scowling and making a “waving away,” “don’t bother,” “I’m through with him,” “our friendship is over”-type of gesture with his hands. I could just imagine Stan’s rep explaining how sorry he is, and if only he’d seen Moebius come over he’d have let him through, and Stan would truly like to see you, and don’t worry, I’ll have the job (and maybe neck) of that moronic idiot who was doing security and didn’t realize who you are and let you through. Finally Moebius did come over with the rep and visit with Stan for a little while. Jesus that was intense to watch.

Finally my security guard (and did I mention he’s my new best friend?) popped back over and told me he didn’t know any of the guards who were on Moebius’ detail, and was trying to find an in. I pointed out that Moebius’s line had been capped off, and was now down to about a dozen people. He said, “Tell you what,” and he walked me over to the end of the line. He tapped the shoulder of the last person in line, who was holding a sign that said the line was capped and no one else was allowed to get in line. He took this sign, grabbed me and placed me at the end of the line, and handed me the sign. “There you go,” he said.

So within a few minutes, I was meeting Moebius, and he drew me a sketch of a giant monster, which I have posted at my website, under “fans of giant monsters.” I showed him my book, and he raised his eyebrows, as if to say it looked good. And I showed him some of the pin-ups, and named a bunch of names involved, and asked if he ever does commissions for pin-ups, and he shook his head, and then he stopped looking at me, and when I tried to speak with him some more, he spoke in French. So I guess that answers that question.

But what fun!

We didn’t see our security guard (who I felt so indebted to and grateful for) the next day. When he came around the day after that, he lamented, “I was assigned to Quentin Tarantino yesterday. I was with him THE WHOLE DAY, but I was so busy, I couldn’t get away from him to come get you!” Damn! Can you believe it! I can’t believe my luck. But what I mean by that is, HOW LUCKY I AM!