cwisnia

Here is my original script for this five-page story. I’ll interpose my commentary on the script with parenthetical italics.

10/2/02

(Notice my excitement to create this story was such that I had begun scripting a couple sequences the same day I started and finished the plot – 10/2/02. I finished drawing the splash the next day, 10/3/02. I scripted pages two through five (everything besides the splash, which didn’t have much script to write) on 10/6/02 – AFTER I’d finished drawing the splash. This is telling that I was truly just seeing where the story led itself, without premeditation or a finished script.  That same day, I also drew the first page. I didn’t date the third or fourth pages, but the final page is dated 10/29/02. I had a day job, so I was producing the most work on weekends, and did the five page story in under a month.)

SPLASH:

ROB ODER PRESENTS: THE SHOCKING TRUE-LIFE EXPLOITS OF DORIS DANGER . . . AS SHE EXPLORES . . . WHERE GIANT MONSTERS CREEP AND STOMP

(This text got moved off the splash, to the second page.)

SPLUH!  THE THING WHO BURST/OOZED/ERUPTED FROM THE ERUPTING/LIVE/EXPLODING VOLCANO

(Sometimes I can’t decide on word choice, so I just jot down whatever comes to mind and decide later. Burst. Oozed. Erupted.  Where I would ultimately pick ONE for the finally, Stan Lee made this a part of his writing style – “I was so hungry, so starving, so famished, so desirous to eat something, so in the mood to put food in my mouth!”  I didn’t pick up on this style to parody it for these early stories, however.)

ORIGINALLY PRESENTED IN TABLOIA WEEKLY MAGAZINE #136 JUNE 1953

WISNIA & AYERS

(See how I actually put in the script for the page to be signed “Wisnia and Ayers”??! And how I already knew it had to have been “originally presented” in a previous issue of Tabloia??  See my page 002 – Commentary)

FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES!

FLEE FROM SPLUH!

* * *

(After the very brief text and dialog of the splash, the first script I wrote out was for the last panel of page five, which was a text-only panel):

WHO IS THE MAD SCIENTIST WITH THE REMOTE CONTROL?

HOW IS HE INVOLVED?

WHY IS HE GIGGLING?

WHY ARE THE MYSTERIOUS MEN WHO HELP HIDE MONSTERS WEARING FEZZES?

WHY ARE THE ARMY AND FBI WORKING TOGETHER TO COVER ALL THIS UP?

DID . . . DORIS REALLY SEE MORE THAN ONE MONSTER?

WHERE . . . DID THE UFO COME FROM?

WHERE . . . DID IT GO?

WHERE . . . DID THE MONSTERS AND UFO GO?

WHAT . . . IS THE MOTIVE OF THE RENEGADE TEAM KNOWN AS THE MLA?

WHAT . . . IS THE MONSTER’S SECRET AGENDA?

WHAT . . . SECRET AGENDA ARE THE MONSTERS PLANNING?

WHAT . . . IS GOING ON?!!

FIND OUT ALL THIS AND MORE NEXT WEEK!  ONLY IN TABLOIA!

HOW CAN YOU DARE MISS OUT ON THE ANSWERS TO ALL THESE QUESTIONS AND MORE?  YOU CAN’T!  JOIN US NEXT WEEK!  ONLY IN TABLOIA!

* * *

(The second chunk of text I wanted to figure out was what different things the monster might say with his stutter. You can see my priorities with the script):

SPLUHH monster speaks:

FOO . . . FOO . . . FOOLS!

YOO . . . YOO . . . YOU ARE DOOMED

PYOO . . . PYOO . . . PUNY MORTALS . . .

HYOO . . . HYOO . . . DETESTED HUMANS

YOO . . . YOO . . . YOU JERKS . . .

HYOO . . . HYOO . . . HUMANS ARE MEAN . . .

* * *

(Then for some reason, I wrote out the last text panel of page five again, changing some, changing the order. I guess this was a key panel for me.):

WHO . . . IS THE MAD SCIENTIST WITH THE REMOTE CONTROL?

WHO . . . ARE THE MYSTERIOUS MEN WEARING FEZZES

WHY . . . ARE THE MYSTERIOUS MEN WEARING FEZZES HELPING THE MONSTER OR MONSTERS?

WHERE . . . DID THE UFO COME FROM?

HOW . . . IS THE UFO CONNECTED WITH THE MONSTERS?

WHERE . . . DID IT GO?

WHAT . . . ARE THE MONSTERS UP TO?

HOW . . . MANY MONSTERS ARE THERE?

WHAT . . . IS THE GOVERNMENT’S INTEREST IN ALL THIS?

WHY . . . IS THE FBI TRYING TO COVER EVERYTHING UP?

HOW . . . DID THE ARMY KNOW WHERE THE MONSTER WOULD BE?

WHY . . . ARE THE ARMY AND FBI WORKING TOGETHER?

WHAT . . . IS THE MOTIVE OF THE RENEGADE TEAM KNOWN AS THE MLA?

WHAT . . . IS GOING ON?

10/6/02 SCRIPT

DANGER: SPLUHH

PAGE TWO

PANEL 1

TABLOIA PRESENTS ANOTHER SHOCKING TRUE-LIFE ACCOUNT.  ACE PHOTO JOURNALIST DORIS D SAYS GOODBYE TO HER BOYFRIEND, STEVE W. BEFORE EMBARKING ON AN ASSIGNMENT THAT WILL UNWITTINGLY LEAD HER WHERE GIANT MONSTERS CREEP AND STOMP.

STEVE: I WISH YOU WOULDN’T GO, DORE!  THE WEIRD ___ TREMORS OF THE VOLCANOES ON THE CAYMAN ISLANDS ARE MYSTERIOUSLY EMINATING “GASSIGINA RADIATION”!

DORIS: I’VE GOT TO GO, STEVE.  OH, STEVE, PLEASE DON’T.  IT’S AS IF FATE IS PULLING ME THERE.  I’VE JUST GOT TO.  YOU KNOW I’VE JUST GOT TO GO.

PANEL 2.

DORIS: YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE I’VE TOLD ABOUT MY RECURRING NIGHTMARES.  ABOUT HOW I BELIEVE THEY MAY BE REPRESSED MEMORIES OF MY CHILDHOOD.

STEVE: THE WAY YOU DESCRIBED THE GIANT CREATURE, AND HOW IT ABDUCTED YOU, CONTAINED TOO MANY DETAILS NOT TO HAVE BEEN REAL.  AND YOU SWORE YOU COULD EVEN SMELL THE TOXIC “GASSIGINA” WHILE THE THING PROBED YOUR BRAIN WITH A “VACUUM NEEDLE.”  NO I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU MUST GO, BUT BE CAREFUL, DORIS.

(I had to really trim down all this text to get it to fit in two panels. After brainstorming it all out, I rewrote some of the above into the following sentence:)

HOW IT PROBED YOUR BRAIN WITH A “VACUUM NEEDLE,” THE SMELL OF TOXIC GASSIGINA PRESENT . . .

I LOVE YOU, STEVE.

PANEL 3

SOON, ACROSS THE GLOBE, AT THE BASE OF THE ISLAND’S MASSIVE VOLCANO . . .

DORIS: THIS IS WHERE THE STRANGE TREMORS HAVE BEEN REPORTED STRONGEST.  I TOOK THIS ASSIGNMENT SECRETLY HOPING IT MIGHT LEAD TO MY MOST DESPERATE DESIRE: PROOF OF THE EXISTENCE OF GIANT ALIEN CREATURES!

BUT WHAT IS THE UNITED STATES ARMY DOING HERE?  AND WHAT ARE ALL THESE BARRICADES AND TANKS?

PANEL 4

YOU CAN’T COME THROUGH HERE, MA’AM.  SORRY, MA’AM, THIS HERE’S A DANGER SITE.  YOU GOTTA STAY OUTSIDE THE BARRIERS.  BY ORDER OF THE U.S. GOVERNMENT.

BUT I’M A PHOTOGRAPHER FOR TABLOIA MAGAZINE.

NO PHOTOS, MA’AM.  FER YER OWN SAFETY, BEST YOU OUGHTA GO BACK HOME.

PANEL 5

PSST.  HEY LADY.  WHITE MEN ARE TRYING TO COVER UP.  THEY SAY RADIOACTIVE METEOR FALLS FROM SKY.  NOT SO.  DON’T BELIEVE THEIR LIES.

DOES METEOR LEAVE A FOOTPRINT?!

VOLCANO GOD RETURNS!

AFTER MANY GENERATIONS, WHITE MEN ANGER HIM!  VOLCANO GOD!

PAGE THREE

PANEL 1

MA’AM?  AGENT SLICK/FLEET/SLEAT/SKEATES, FBI G DIVISION.  I’M GONNA HAVE TO ASK YOU TO GIVE ME THAT CAMERA AND COME WITH ME.

PANEL 2.

HEY!  HALT!  HALT!  THAT’S A RESTRICTED AREA!  YOU’RE IN BIG TROUBLE, LADY!

PANEL 3

BING BING BING!

SIR: THE GASAGINA RADIATION METER IS SUDDENLY GOING BONKERS!

– HALT HALT

PANEL 4

WHAT’S THAT SMELL?  GOOD GRACIOUS!  WHAT THE!

FOO FOO!

SARGE: OH MY GOD!

BING BING BING!

PANEL 5

HOLY CRIPES

MEN GET IN POSITION

G DIVISION WAS RIGHT – THIS IS WHAT WE’RE TRAINED FOR, BOYS!

WHERE’D IT COME FROM?!

IT WAS A MONSTER ALL ALONG!  WE’VE FOUND HIM AS G DIVISIONS’ RESEARCH SCIENTISTS EXPECTED!  RIGHT WHERE G DIVISION PIN-POINTED HIM ALL RIGHT – HE’S MADE HIMSELF KNOWN!  REPEAT PROJECCT UNEARTH HAS

TURN THE ARTILLERY AROUND!  QUICKLY!

PAGE FOUR

PANEL 1

PWEE PWEE!
DOOSH!
ZWAZWAZWA!
BWEE! BWEE!
SPWAH!
CUNCH!
CUNCH!
COO!  COO!
COCKACOCKA!
KAKAKAKAKA!
BUGGABUGGA!
BUGGABUGGA!
POOP!  POOM!
POOP!  POOSH!
PYOO!
PYOO!
SPAH!
SPAH!

(Notice the excitement for coming up with exciting (i.e., “dumb,” childish, “unrealistic,” (hopefully) funny) sound effects!)

PANEL 2

YOO . . . YOO . . . YOU JERKS!

HYOO . . . HYOO . . .

PANEL 3

. . . HUMANS ARE MEAN . . .

DORIS: I CAN’T BELIEVE MY EYES?!!! AM I TRULY . . . ACTUALLY SEEING . . . ??

WHAT THE . . . ?!!  WHO ARE THESE RENEGADES?

PANEL 4

WHAT THE –?  WHERE’D THEY COME FROM?!!

IT’S THE DREADED INFAMOUS MONSTER LIBERATION ARMY!

THE M.L.A.!

BACK DOWN, YOU BLOODTHIRSTY GOVERNMENT LAP-DOGS!  OR YOU’LL FACE THE WRATH OF THE M.L.A.!

PANEL 5

OPEN FIRE, BOYS!  THIS OUGHTTA TEACH THOSE INBRED RIGHTWING MURDEROUS LACKEYS NOT TO BULLY ANY POOR INNOCENT MONSTER!

ARMY: RETREAT!  FALL BACK!

PAGE FIVE

PANEL 1

IN ALL THE CONFUSION, THE MONSTER IS GETTING AWAY

PANEL 2

HYOO . . . HYOO . . . HUMANS ARE MEAN

QUICK!  IN HERE!  WHERE’S HE GOING?  I LOST SIGHT OF HIM, BUT . . . WAIT, THERE HE IS!  BUT WHO ARE THOSE MEN WEARING FEZZES?

PANEL 3

AT LAST!  SPAMPOO HAS ARRIVED.  NOW ALL SEVEN OF US MAY PROCEED!  HE’S HIDING IN THAT CAVE AT THE BASE OF THE VOLCANO!

I SWEAR IT LOOKS LIKE I SAW  . . . AND I COULD HAVE SWORN IN THAT CAVE WAS  . . .  ANOTHER/AT LEAST TWO GIANT MONSTERS!

PANEL 4

SUDDENLY . . .

THE VOLCANO IS ERUPTING!

RUN!  RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

SPLOOH!
ZWEE!
RUMBLERUMBLERUMBLE

PANEL 5

TEE HEE HEE!

IT’S THAT GIGGLING SCIENTIST I SAW HIDING UNDER THE PILE OF CLOTHES AT THE CARNIVAL!  HOW DOES HE FIT INTO ALL THIS?

PANEL 6

WAIT!  PLEASE.

AGENT SLEET, FBI G DIV.: THAT’S ENOUGH.  YOU’RE COMING WITH ME, MA’AM.  AND I’LL BE TAKING THAT CAMERA.

WHY DO I GET THE FEELING THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING?

(You can tell I was really intent about this final panel, because here I’ve written it out for a THIRD TIME!):

WHAT . . . IS GOING ON?

WHO . . . ARE THE MEN IN THE FEZZES?

DORIS RECOGNIZED?

WHO . . . IS THE MAD SCIENTIST WITH THE REMOTE CONTROL?

HOW . . . MANY MONSTERS FLEW OFF IN THE UFO?

WHERE . . . DID THEY GO?

WHY . . . ARE THE FBI TRYING TO COVER UP THE SIGHTING?

WHAT . . . IS THE MOTIVE OF THE MYSTERIOUS TEAM KNOWN AS THE MLA?

WHY . . . DOES . . . THE MONSTER HAVE THREE NAMES, OR ARE THERE THREE OR MORE MONSTERS?

(There it is: I was trying to really spell out, “Hi, readers, there are more than one monster. Even though I only SHOWED one.  Get it? Get it?”  And of course, you will recall that the original idea for page 002 (see the page 002 – Commentary) cover was to have two monsters, but I ran out of room!)

HOW . . . DID THE ARMY KNOW A MONSTER WOULD BE THERE?

WHAT . . . IS THE GOVERNMENT INTERESTED IN ALL THIS?

WHY . . . IS THE ARMY ATTACKING THE MONSTER?

Panel 4 ANIMATED! MLA and KARATE GUY

(Click “published” above to see the published page 005, inked by Dick Ayers!)

Panel four introduces THE M.L.A.*! (* “Monster Liberation Army”, fans!):

(NOTE: Watch TWO commentary videos about the Monster Liberation Army: Monster Liberation Army and G.I.Joe, and Monster Liberation Army and the A-Team (both for $7 Patrons).

The creation of the team, and the name, “M.L.A.” PROBABLY dates back to James Bond’s villainous nemesis, S.P.E.C.T.R.E. (Special Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge, and Extortion – which made its appearance in Ian Fleming’s James Bond novel, Thunderball  in 1961), or the popular The Man from U.N.C.L.E (United Network Command for Law and Enforcement) tv series (1964).  But MY influence was Marvel Comics’ S.H.I.E.L.D., H.Y.D.R.A., A.I.M., DC Comics’ S.T.A.R. labs, and so on.

 

Of course, visually and thematically, the MLA is highly influenced by the A-Team, the 1983-87 tv action series about a colorful assortment of mercenaries framed for crimes they did not commit, and who now are dedicated to noble causes as they choose their assignments as soldiers of fortune.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another important influence is the G.I. Joe line-up of colorful army characters.  I owned a couple of the original 1964 dolls (hand-me-downs from older cousins or uncles, perhaps?), but the influence on the M.L.A. was the 1982 action figure line, with each figure exerting his or her individuality thru necessarily more and more production of additional product to sell, and therefore need for recognizable diversity, in costume design and color, unique weapon choice, and a handy file card detailing their personalities and specialties.

 

 

 

 

The final influence was Mattel’s 1976-1981 “Big Jim” toys, particularly the P.A.C.K. series, whose unique characters spell-bound me as a child, and only as an adult looking back did I realize that their packaging was drawn by Jack Kirby!

 

 

 

 

 

 

There was a period where I fantasized about making business cards that said “I’m a card-carrying secret member of the Monster Liberation Army (your name here)”, or MLA hats or t-shirts.  I printed a few out one year, but I wasn’t happy with the design.  I’ll have to re-visit that merch brainstorm…

The idea of the M.L.A. jumping out from the ground (in panel four) was stolen directly from the John Milius film, “Red Dawn” (1984) in which Russians invade America, and a few teenagers (including Patrick Swayze and Charlie Sheen) shoot off their big guns, single-handedly stave off the Russian armies, and save … AMERICA, AND democracy! 

I FEEL like I watched that popping out of the ground scene A TON, but I may not have seen it, more than a couple times.  That said, it IS in the trailer, right about at 1:45:

SOUND EFFECTS

First and second panel of page five, I tried to give the sound effects a similar kind of humor to what I was attempting with the monster names. You know when you’re a little kid, or when you’re watching a kid, playing with toy army guys or cars or whatever, and you always come up with the coolest sound effects for your guns. I remember as a kid pretending I was riding a motorcycle around and going “bwa-na-naaaaa, bwa-naaah!” I wanted the stories to feel like a kid was in the bullpen writing them, making all these noises out loud with his mouth, going, “Oh, yeah, THIS is what a gun sounds like.  This sound effect is SO cool! And realistic!”

(above) David Lloyd talks about how doing “V For Vendetta” (1989) with Alan Moore, they thought it was amateurish to include sound effects, because if you saw, for example, a gun firing, you should be able to realize it’s making a “BANG” sound, and hear it in your head already, and therefore the word “bang” on the page is redundant. They did the whole book off this theory, eliminating sound effects, as well as narration, so that the only thing you read were words people spoke aloud. Just like it would be in real life (or a movie).  That’s a great exercise. It makes the comic very cinematic, and can raise some narrative challenges, to convey a story without relying on these (frankly) cheats. But I made the conscious decision to do the opposite of this. To accentuate and exploit the “crutches” of the comic book language. Make everything sound effects and narration, to the point it just sounds silly.

So in my original script, I brainstormed maybe twenty or so sound effects for this gun-shooting scene – most of which I would have gladly included if only there were more room in the panels. In addition to the realistic”bugga bugga, pwee pwee, cuh cuh, koom, pyoo pyoo, boosh, bloosh, and doosh” gun sounds you see on the page, I also listed :

ZWAZWAZWA!
CUNCH!
CUNCH!
COO! COO!
COCKACOCKA!
POOP! POOM!
POOP! POOSH!
And SPAH! SPAH!

 

ASKING QUESTIONS?!

Along this line of pushing the absurd conventions of comic language, in panel three, Doris says, “I can’t believe my eyes?!!” That’s not a question, but I felt it was appropriate “comic book language.” I’m sure I make editorial mistakes in my comics (mis-spellings,poor grammar, whatever) – but more often if you see this sort of “mistake” that makes for awkward reading, it’s actually very purposeful, to put the stories in keeping with the history of “comic book language.”

Download a HIGH RES FULL COLOR print of this image at Patreon.com ($4 patrons – check it out at the “pre-edits” link below)

INTRO   Chpt. 1

Mimicking the retro art style ($7 Patrons)
SPLASH PAGE ($2 Patrons)
TEXT FEATURE