EDITOR’S NOTE: Mailer 2 was written and then NOT SENT accidentally, and so when this 2A was sent, it made some date-specific updates!
OFFICIAL TABLOIA MAILER #2734a
Hello again, Tabloia fans! Here we go again
with another long, long, update of Tabloia-
related, unsolicited SPAM! I mean FUN!
Incompetent as we are in the arenas of
computers and emailing, we thought and
hoped we had figured out how to send you
an email last week! But through
investigative efforts, we’ve since learned what
a piss-poor, technology-illiterate company this
is! If for some reason you DID already get this
email, please disregard the old one!
* * * * * * *
ITEM OF EXCITING NOTE!
At last! The eagerly anticipated, humongous,
treasury-sized 9″x13″ DORIS DANGER
SEEKS…WHERE GIANT MONSTERS
CREEP AND STOMP ships to stores!
When? IT ALREADY DID! Last
Wednesday, January 26, 2006!
They’re bound to sell out quick, because
orders were so small, there simply aren’t any
copies anywhere! Best to get up right now,
grab your keys, leave your computer on, put
on some pants! Bring some nonperishable
food, and maybe a sleeping bag! Get to your
closest comic shop, wait in front of their door
(like you would wait for rock concert tickets
to go on sale), and be ready to pick up their
only copy of DORIS DANGER, the moment
it’s put on their shelves! Product description
below!
Special thanks goes out to Wesley Ruff,
for his hard work and dedication with
this issue’s logos, layouts and design, and
great cover colors (included, in this very
email! Click on the attachment)!!
* * * * * * *
IMPORTANT WEBSITE UPDATE!
Nothing is updated! It still looks exactly as
it has for the last seven months! It doesn’t
even have any info on our latest book,
let alone an image of the cover, even
though it’s already shipped! The site looks
abandoned! All the info is grossly out of
date! Useless! But we’re getting
REALLY close! And you won’t believe
all the unbelievable new additions in
store for you! Keep checking back every
couple hours! You won’t be sorry!
* * * * * * *
APPEARANCES IN FEBRUARY!
What good news! For the second year in a
row, Chris will be in the (cheapest seat
available) “Artist Alley” at San Francisco’s
WONDER-CON Feb 10-12! Need info? Go
to http://www.comic-con.org/wc.
So if you’re one of the lucky few who were
brave enough to approach Chris last year,
and he gave you a free sketch, he asked us to
apologize, and let you know he’s happy to try
again and draw an even better sketch for you
this year, if you’ll only give him the chance!
Chris will also be in the “Starving Artist
Alley” of Orlando’s MEGA-CON Feb 24-26!
Http://www.megaconvention.com.
We know there are about three Tabloia
fans (if we’re lucky) who live somewhere far
from these geographic areas, and we sincerely
apologize to you three! Hopefully we’ll be
headed your way soon!
* * * * * * *
THE LUMP TRADE PAPERBACK!
This long-awaited item will ship to stores
June 2006! Phenomenal Tabloia cover artist
Damon Thompson has returned in gorgeous
red, black and white! Chris is frantically
(and egocentrically) compiling interviews,
sketches, page layouts, secret messages, and
essays, to bulk the book up to a wasteful 152
pages! That’s like fifty non-stop pages of
useless waste! Just for you, fans!
* * * * * * *
TO UNSUBSCRIBE FROM THIS
INFORMATIVE, ENTERTAINING, AND
FAMILY-FRIENDLY SPAM — I MEAN
E-MAILING LIST — please simply reply to
this email, with the subject heading, “Please
Remove — You Suck!” We promise not to
repeatedly write back, look you up in the
phone book, call, stop by your house, beg,
harass, pressure, bribe, blackmail, or
make derogatory insults or threats!
Thanks for reading! Stay tuned for the
Doris Danger Press Release below,
including Doris’s hot new cover!
Talk to you soon,
–Rob Oder, Editor-in-Chief!
* * * * * * *
PRESS RELEASE:
[WARNING: The Doris Danger PRESS
RELEASE was basically taken word for
word from our last Tabloia mailer! DO
NOT BOTHER TO READ IT AGAIN,
if you already read it last time! It would
be a COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME!]
DORIS DANGER SEEKS…WHERE
GIANT MONSTERS CREEP AND
STOMP #1!
HUMONGOUS 9″x13″ treasury sized
56 page collection, featuring all five
shocking Kirby style adventures from
Tabloia, inked by Dick Ayers, as well as
all fifteen giant monster pin ups by the
industry’s biggest names: Mike Allred,
Thomas Yeates, Gene Colan, Sam Kieth,
Irwin Hasen, Bill Sienkiewicz,
Gilbert Hernandez, Mario Hernandez,
Jaime Hernandez, Ryan Sook, Steve Rude,
John Severin, Mike Mignola,
Ramona Fradon, and Tony Millionaire!
Eleven brand new pages full of giant
monster action and suspense, an essay on
the history of Doris Danger in comics, an
introduction from noted humorist
Ricky Sprague, and a monster name word
search! Also contains two giant pages of
infamous Tabloia letters page letters!
56 pages/B&W/Taboid Sized 9″x13″
$9.95!