My mom called me right before Super-Con and told me she’d read my horoscope and it said that this year was going to be my best year ever. And for everything. Family. Business. Well-being and contentment. Everything.
I joked that when I heard the good news, I was so excited, I quit my day job, and climbed onto my couch and started watching TV. I’m all set, so I’ll just relax and wait for all that great stuff to come my way.
The truth is, I would love if it were true. I would love it, but I just don’t believe in that stuff anymore. I’ve gotten too many horoscopes and psychic readings and fortune cookies that didn’t come true. I’m a skeptic. I don’t really believe in horoscopes, and good fortune, and luck. I believe good or lucky things happen to some people, every now and then. I believe in happiness and success. But I believe, for the most part, the people who really achieve it either have simple expectations, or they work their asses off, and earn it.
It reminds me of an Oprah Winfrey show my wife told me about. Oprah is someone who I think really earned it, incidentally.
Oprah had a contest, where Joe and Jane Everybody could apply to become the next “guy-next-door-who-always-dreamed-but never-had-the-chance” American Singing Superstar. She was actually giving out a free recording deal.
So when I heard about this (and my wife thought it was such a great and fun opportunity for people), on the one hand, I thought, Wow, is there a way I could apply to this, and isn’t it great that she’s giving people a chance to fulfill their dreams.
But on the other hand, I thought…In life, if you want to succeed at something, of course it’s nice if you have some talent and support, and a fair amount of luck. And maybe some connections. But the most important thing you need is to work your ass off, and give and give and give, and practice, and work, and study and be critical and learn and improve and find ways to become what you want to be.
So in my usual negativity, I envision old, washed-up nobodies, whose lives went down some dreary path they never wanted or expected to find themselves in. Maybe they had a great singing voice in high school, or friends thought they sang well along with the stereo in the car or at their sister’s wedding, or at the karaoke bar. Or maybe they tried to put a band together in middle school, but nothing ever came of it. But then they accidentally got knocked up, or wound up in some drudgery-filled, exhausting job, and then their husband left them, and they couldn’t pay the mortgage any more, and the harder and longer they worked, the more they realized they had no other skills and could never get out into some other decent job, without years of schooling and training, and what’s the use now, so late in the game. So now their lives are just a routine of making it through the day, and in their fantasies they imagine it was all because they never followed their dreams. And if only they had followed their dreams, their lives would have been different! They would have been superstars! They would have been millionaires! They wouldn’t have had any of these daily toils and boredoms and problems. They would have had fame and respect! They would have married the most gorgeous models in the nation!
Of course, Oprah didn’t bill the contest exactly this way. She had a more positive slant on it, believe it or not.
Now for myself, I don’t have time to watch tv or go the movies, or socialize with my friends or family, because I’m trying so hard, for the last eight years or whatever, to be the best comics artist I can be. I’m upsetting my wife that what little spare time I have, all I do is draw, and she would like to have a social life.
And every few months I look back at my work and realize how much better I’m getting, with control of the brush, with making better compositions and choices, with being able to draw and express what I’m trying to express. And that took a lot of time and practice and dedication. I work at it. I really work hard at it.
So this contest kind of says, Oh silly, none of that is important. You don’t need to work hard and try to earn your profession. You just have to have a little talent, and feel like it’s something you’d like to do. You just have to dream it. You’re a divorced dad trying to raise three kids, and you got a high-paying tech job, but your dream is to rock out, so let’s just give you a recording contract.
That’s nice for the guy who never could have done it otherwise, but really… What about all the people who left their friends and family to move to L.A., who are trying to be musicians, and they spend hours a day just trying to get gigs for themselves, and three or four nights a week performing in bars, writing a few songs mornings, and getting together with their band five days a week, and only have time to squeeze in a day job maybe bussing tables, just to eat, so that they can try and achieve their dreams?
And maybe what makes me the most sarcastic of all about this is the fact that Oprah’s contest really is just how life is. It’s just random, lucky, unjustified, and completely unfair. Because people work their asses off and are never discovered, and other people just had their horoscope stars in line, and it all just fell into place. And try so hard. Why haven’t the stars lined up for me with my comics career yet?
Until now! Thanks, horoscope! Well, great! Now I don’t have to worry about all this struggling and working to accomplish my goals. The horoscope says I’m home free, so I’ll just sit back with my mouth opened to the sky, and wait for my meal ticket to drop down my gullet.
Actually, the horoscope did get me amped, but it got me amped to be active and get working, and try to make things happen. I’ve decided I want to try to pump out three comics before the end of the year.