{"id":79,"date":"2007-05-17T07:52:34","date_gmt":"2007-05-17T14:52:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chriswisniaarts.com\/blog\/?p=79"},"modified":"2010-04-26T11:57:09","modified_gmt":"2010-04-26T17:57:09","slug":"75-getting-to-san-francisco-wondercon-february-10-12-2006","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chriswisniaarts.com\/blog\/archives\/79","title":{"rendered":"75. GETTING TO SAN FRANCISCO WONDERCON, February 10-12, 2006"},"content":{"rendered":"

I made the hour and a half drive alone, because it began on Friday, and Elizabeth had to work Friday. <\/font>We found a friend who was going down Saturday, so E would get a ride down then, and stay the rest of the con.<\/p>\n

I get tense and usually irritable driving in the city. <\/font>I have a bad sense of direction as it is, and I don’t pay very good attention and constantly miss turns and exits. <\/font>I accidentally drove through the Fast-track (We’ll see how much I get fined for that), then got lost coming into the city, because there was roadwork and strange bright barriers and signs everywhere that distracted me. <\/font>Once I knew I had passed my exit, I managed to get going back the opposite direction, but of course the exits had different names from this way. <\/font>I called my sister, a San Francisco native. <\/font>She stayed on the phone with me, guided me, and got me into the vicinity. I hung up, looped around, four right turns in a row, and realized I was still in the wrong place. <\/font>I shouted for directions out my window, went a little farther and looped around another four right turns. <\/font>Meanwhile, I really had to go to the bathroom, because I drank way too much water before I left home (I wanted to be sure I was nice and hydrated for a long convention day). <\/font>I finally found the convention, looped around another four right turns to try and get to a parking garage, pulled in, and realized the garage closed at five. <\/font>Since the con goes \u2018til seven, it was a no go, so round and round I went again, getting antsier and squirmier in my seat as my need to go to the bathroom grew more and more unbearable. <\/font>Each time I had to loop around the block like this, it would take four or five minutes, because I’d invariably have to wait at a light a two, for a minute or two each.<\/p>\n

I followed another set of parking garage signs for three left turns, and somehow never saw the garage. <\/font>Now I’m fidgeting and squeezing my crotch because I’ve got to go so badly. <\/font>Finally I just pulled into the first garage I found, and damned its distance to the convention. <\/font>I opened my trunk and quickly pulled out my dolly and a few boxes, to wheel to the con. <\/font>Suddenly seized by a terrible desperation to pee, I scrambled through my car, looking for a bottle or can or…ANYTHING!<\/p>\n

I found a plastic bag in my trunk, snatched it up, crouched behind my car, and got my pants belt and pants undone. <\/font>Just then a car pulled up, and I realized how conspicuous I looked, if not downright arrestably lewd. <\/font>I tried to look natural and get zipped up and get my belt back on. <\/font>I had to go so badly, I was in agony. <\/font>I threw the boxes back in the trunk, grabbed my backpack and began hiking in the direction of the convention. <\/font>I left everything because I had to go so bad, I was afraid lugging everything would slow me down and pressure my delicate muscle control. <\/font>I would have to come back for everything later. <\/font>One step at a time. <\/font>Breathe, breathe…Oh God…breathe…<\/p>\n

After a full block I found myself in a dead-end alley, and realized I would have to walk all the way back past to my car to get out of here, so fuck it, I loaded up my dolly and just tried to get to the convention. <\/font>I’m hunched over from pain. <\/font>On the walk over, I realized I was so distracted, I actually hadn’t zipped my fly up, after all this time. <\/font>I tried to be discreet. <\/font> <\/p>\n

I finally got to the convention center, a painful three blocks away. <\/font>There I was told it’s being held, not where I am, where it was held last year, but at Moscone West, which is two more blocks away. <\/font>What the hell did I do to deserve this, I scream, wiping tears from my eyes. <\/font><\/p>\n

At last, I’m there. <\/font>I walked straight in, straight to the bathroom, and was peeing practical before my pants came off. <\/font>It was the most relieving and monumental pee I’ve had in at least thirteen years. <\/font>I watched three people come and go in succession before I finished.<\/p>\n

The convention was an hour-twenty minute drive from home, and I had left with an extra forty-five minutes added in, to get settled. <\/font>In the time I’d gotten lost, found, parked, peed, and set up and settled at my table, I was still about fifteen minutes late.<\/p>\n

What a great way to start a con!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I made the hour and a half drive alone, because it began on Friday, and Elizabeth had to work Friday. We found a friend who was going down Saturday, so E would get a ride down then, and stay the rest of the con. I get tense and usually irritable driving in the city. I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[65],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-79","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-diary-of-a-struggling-comics-artist"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":false,"thumbnail":false,"medium":false,"medium_large":false,"large":false,"1536x1536":false,"2048x2048":false,"woocommerce_thumbnail":false,"woocommerce_single":false,"woocommerce_gallery_thumbnail":false},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"cwisnia","author_link":"https:\/\/chriswisniaarts.com\/blog\/archives\/author\/cwisnia"},"uagb_comment_info":88,"uagb_excerpt":"I made the hour and a half drive alone, because it began on Friday, and Elizabeth had to work Friday. We found a friend who was going down Saturday, so E would get a ride down then, and stay the rest of the con. I get tense and usually irritable driving in the city. I…","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chriswisniaarts.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chriswisniaarts.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chriswisniaarts.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chriswisniaarts.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chriswisniaarts.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=79"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/chriswisniaarts.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chriswisniaarts.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=79"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chriswisniaarts.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=79"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chriswisniaarts.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=79"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}